Communication Across Generations

       There is one group that I communicate differently with, seniors.  I smile more, I’m much more affectionate in my demeanor.  I certainly say Ma’am, Sir and everyone is Miss So-and-So, never just his or her first name.   Growing up, the older generation in my family was revered, along with the older people in the neighborhood.

        When I was a kid we saved the little green wicker baskets the strawberries came in until Easter.  All of the kids would get huge baskets of candy and eggs at Easter.  My grandmother helped us make smaller baskets from our treasure to give to the seniors in the neighborhood.  Those folks looked for us every year.  My mom sent plates of food to elderly neighbors that my cousins and I would deliver.   I enjoyed the stories they would tell about “The good ole’ days.”  I always enjoyed the stories.  My cousins and I did housework for neighbors without hesitation.  Ok, there was some hesitation, but we still did it.  This is how I grew up.

       This reverence may not always a great thing.  My sister says, when it comes to our older Aunts I’m a push over.  This communication difference is most evident in my position as a mentor/coach in the classroom environment. I have a difficult time providing constructive criticism to the senior citizens on our staff.  I like to think of it as individualizing with the special needs some present, like using the laptops.  Some get frustrated when I say, best practices.  I sometimes hear, “the practices I have are just fine.”  But I am aware of this communication struggle, and this awareness has made me prepare my delivery.  I am still respectful, I just a bit more time with this group to get their buy-in.  I have noticed my older staff members respect my position and understand the responsibility I have to continuously improve curriculum implementation at our site.  Our older staff members remind me of what's important in life, the journey.  

Better with Sound

For this weeks blog assignment I reached back in time to the sitcom 227, this episode first aired January 8, 1986.

Without Sound:

      In the intro, the characters all commune around the front stoop of an apartment building.  There is lots of smiling and waving.  In the episode, the main character talks to the older woman who has entered the scene and at one point she turns way with an expression of, how do I get out of this situation.

      Later enters a young man and he is clearly sad, the adult male character gives him a pat on the shoulder and a concerned look after the female lead nudges him and points to the boy.  After a brief discussion, he hunches his shoulders, and then walks away shaking his head.  The girl character about the same age as the boy looks at him longingly, smiling with her head cocked.  She stands close and touches his arm gently.  She looks sad as he walks away.

Sound On:

      The main character has been asked by an older woman to let her grandson stay at her apartment for the weekend.  The main character expresses reluctance then gives in to the request.  The young man arrives after not getting the role in the school play he’d hoped for, but instead got something else.  He is upset that the part was given to a boy he feels is better looking.  The male character tells him, “it’s ok and to be proud of the part he did get” Upon learning the part was as a tree the male character walked way and said, “Oh I see.” then walks away.

     I assumed the boy arriving was the son until I saw how the girl who I thought was the daughter interacted with him.  I would have needed to know of the older characters earlier request.  I knew the young man was upset, and there were caring adults who wanted to cheer him up, but the adults were not consumed by his plight.  The girl clearly thought this young man was AWESOME with or without sound.

     If I were more familiar with the show I would have known right away who lived in the house, who the neighbors were and why there was reluctance to have the boy stay over.  In addition, I would have known that the father of the girl is not at all fond of this young man.  The same young man that his daughter believes is fantastic.  There were certainly a lot of over the top gestures and eye movements but without the sound the intricate details of the plot were lost.

The Great Communicator

   

     The person that comes to mind when I think of a great communicator is one of my college professors. He taught a class I was not at all interested in at the time, philosophy. He didn’t lecture, but instead told a story and made the material germane to our everyday lives. He was clear, concise, and he listened to the students. His eye contact and body language said, “What you are saying is important to me.” What I liked best is he walked among us. Most instructors stay at the front of the class. Father Jason walked around and sometimes would take a seat at a desk. The class flowed, and I would find the time had gone too quickly.

     



I would like to hold the audiences attention the way Father Jason did with his quick wit and ability to steer the class back to the topic. In my current position as a coach, I need to keep the group focused and limit the side bar conversations that can occur when teachers come together. I would like my workshops to be as engaging as Father Jason’s class, no matter what the topic.