Conflict Resolution

A recent conflict did occur when a member of the teaching staff listed an unapproved field trip on her lesson plan.  She was upset when I returned her plan unapproved and asked for her field trip approval information.  However, she did not voice her concerns to me.  Instead, she told another co-worker that she felt my inquiry and subsequent denial was unfair.  I asked to speak with both this staff member and her Lead Teacher.   The Lead Teacher is responsible for reviewing lesson plans prior to them hitting my desk.  The information regarding field trip approval had been given to the Lead and was reviewed with all teaching staff.

     

       I met with both staff members in the teacher’s classroom at the end of the day.  I believed the teacher would be comfortable in her environment instead of my office.  I was able to remind her of center policy regarding field trip requests.  I brought a form along so we could fill it out together.  I also reminded her that may door is always open to discuss any questions or concerns.

     

       I chose not to bring up the indirect method initially used to voice her concerns; this would not be conflict resolution.  Instead, I reminded her of a more direct way to get her needs met.  Prior to this weeks reading, I would have most likely held the meeting in my office or the training room out of convenience.   However, I wanted to get a handle on the latent tension that was building and prevent overt conflict or a power struggle by quickly resolving the issue using a Third side conflict resolution technique (TS, nd).  “Conflict is not a bad thing” it is how we manage conflict that counts (TS, nd).

Reference

  The Third Side. (n.d.). The third side. Retrieved from http://www.thirdside.org/

Who Am I As A Communicator?

   For this assignment I choose my husband of 28 years, and a colleague that I have know just over four years to evaluate my communication skills.   What I found interesting was the lack of variation from my personal and professional life in each of the evaluations.  However, my evaluators scored my Communication Anxiety Inventory as low, which I scored it as mild.  My husband believes I look comfortable when I communicate in any situation.  My co-worker said a similar thing, “You’re the go to person when we need some to speak in the center, and you do it well”, she shared.  

      The truth is I do feel anxious when I need to speak to a group of any size, especially large groups.   What worked really well for me in the past was my astigmatism.  I wore glass for many years.  When I took them off I could only see the notes that I was speaking from, and none of the audience.  This worked great until I had Lasik surgery.  I broke into a sweat the first time I spoke to a group with my corrected vision.

        I was pleased to learn that both my husband and my colleague placed me in the moderate range for Verbal Aggressiveness.  I too like to think I strike a good balance but I sometimes worry that I back away to avoid confrontation.  All and all I agree with their assessment, I am people orientated, can value others opinions without losing my own, and apparently look really confident when communicating.  And that confidence is in spite of the fact that I can now SEE the audience.  

Communication Across Generations

       There is one group that I communicate differently with, seniors.  I smile more, I’m much more affectionate in my demeanor.  I certainly say Ma’am, Sir and everyone is Miss So-and-So, never just his or her first name.   Growing up, the older generation in my family was revered, along with the older people in the neighborhood.

        When I was a kid we saved the little green wicker baskets the strawberries came in until Easter.  All of the kids would get huge baskets of candy and eggs at Easter.  My grandmother helped us make smaller baskets from our treasure to give to the seniors in the neighborhood.  Those folks looked for us every year.  My mom sent plates of food to elderly neighbors that my cousins and I would deliver.   I enjoyed the stories they would tell about “The good ole’ days.”  I always enjoyed the stories.  My cousins and I did housework for neighbors without hesitation.  Ok, there was some hesitation, but we still did it.  This is how I grew up.

       This reverence may not always a great thing.  My sister says, when it comes to our older Aunts I’m a push over.  This communication difference is most evident in my position as a mentor/coach in the classroom environment. I have a difficult time providing constructive criticism to the senior citizens on our staff.  I like to think of it as individualizing with the special needs some present, like using the laptops.  Some get frustrated when I say, best practices.  I sometimes hear, “the practices I have are just fine.”  But I am aware of this communication struggle, and this awareness has made me prepare my delivery.  I am still respectful, I just a bit more time with this group to get their buy-in.  I have noticed my older staff members respect my position and understand the responsibility I have to continuously improve curriculum implementation at our site.  Our older staff members remind me of what's important in life, the journey.  

Better with Sound

For this weeks blog assignment I reached back in time to the sitcom 227, this episode first aired January 8, 1986.

Without Sound:

      In the intro, the characters all commune around the front stoop of an apartment building.  There is lots of smiling and waving.  In the episode, the main character talks to the older woman who has entered the scene and at one point she turns way with an expression of, how do I get out of this situation.

      Later enters a young man and he is clearly sad, the adult male character gives him a pat on the shoulder and a concerned look after the female lead nudges him and points to the boy.  After a brief discussion, he hunches his shoulders, and then walks away shaking his head.  The girl character about the same age as the boy looks at him longingly, smiling with her head cocked.  She stands close and touches his arm gently.  She looks sad as he walks away.

Sound On:

      The main character has been asked by an older woman to let her grandson stay at her apartment for the weekend.  The main character expresses reluctance then gives in to the request.  The young man arrives after not getting the role in the school play he’d hoped for, but instead got something else.  He is upset that the part was given to a boy he feels is better looking.  The male character tells him, “it’s ok and to be proud of the part he did get” Upon learning the part was as a tree the male character walked way and said, “Oh I see.” then walks away.

     I assumed the boy arriving was the son until I saw how the girl who I thought was the daughter interacted with him.  I would have needed to know of the older characters earlier request.  I knew the young man was upset, and there were caring adults who wanted to cheer him up, but the adults were not consumed by his plight.  The girl clearly thought this young man was AWESOME with or without sound.

     If I were more familiar with the show I would have known right away who lived in the house, who the neighbors were and why there was reluctance to have the boy stay over.  In addition, I would have known that the father of the girl is not at all fond of this young man.  The same young man that his daughter believes is fantastic.  There were certainly a lot of over the top gestures and eye movements but without the sound the intricate details of the plot were lost.